Breakthrough Addiction Recovery Hour

May 16, 2009

Brian: Welcome to the Breakthrough Addiction Recovery hour, I am your host Brian Fujii and my co-host Jill Mattingly is not with me today and I hope she is having a good day off, but we have a wonderful show for you, a special guest calling later in the hour, Dr. Lois Dutton, our Director of Families in Recovery at Breakthrough Addiction Recovery will be joining us. Addiction is a family disease and we will find out by looking at various components of recovery and addiction that many times families are impacted and if you are out there and have a loved one or friend that you would like to get some help or help for yourself, give us a call. 770-226-0920. Addiction problems are all across our nation today and we will look at the phases of how one moves into addiction and how family members respond.

At Breakthrough we have a program on Tuesday evenings called Families in Recovery if someone is struggling in your life and dealing with questions and problems this is a way that we might be able to help you this afternoon and talk with you and share with you some of the struggles that other families like yours may be facing and having a place to talk in a supportive and confidential manner. Our website www.breakthroughaddictionrecovery.com can give you the information you need to get in touch with us. Our number here is 770-226-0920 and if you are outside Atlanta, 1-888-920-2665.

I want to share with our audience the different phases in which someone moves into addiction. The first phase is the Introduction Phase and it is the point at which the individual goes to a party, possibly office party for the first time and exposed to the alcohol and there and beginning to think that a small amount is worth a try and no problem. They begin looking around and having a good experience and move on and if the situation stays there they really have no addiction problem, there are many that do well using alcohol and drugs responsibly and now the situation can also develop and they can move to a secondary phase, no life problems, work is going ok, family life ok, social acceptance, happy and the negative consequences are nominal. However as it progresses they move to the Maintenance Phase, we find that now they begin to have a situation where they look at the use of the drugs of choice or drink and begin having problems. Now life becomes a bit problematic and at the same time not over balanced and have still some good social response and excitement and now the problem is developing where they have some life problems and that is one distinction. Early in the first phase and the maintenance you might still call them a user and they can use but not have the consequences and at the same time if they continue to use something begins to change and at the maintenance phase they have difficulty. Tissue dependence, the person looks forward to the event and if there is a choice of a party with alcohol or one without they will choose the one with the alcohol.

Now they realize that the substance takes more and more effect. Families, many times during the introduction phase family members realize that they are having issues maybe they are not recognizing the problems and are confused by the behavior. Sometimes young adults begin to have some difficulty dealing and handling substances and sometimes it is almost an admiration of the abnormal behavior or right of passage that we see a lot through the college or going to a situation with a fraternity or sorority. If you are listening and you think you see that life is beginning to turn in a different direction and find out that your thoughts are more about using, you could be in the mid career or you just want to take an honest look, we have a program at Breakthrough and if you aren’t abusing we have what we call a Harm Reduction Program, sessions that we have covering four sessions 8 hours total and we help people take a look at what is happening in their lifestyle to curb the situation. Looks like we are coming to our break, we are today looking at addiction as a family disease and when we come back our guest Dr. Lois Dutton will join us regarding the family and how they can help.

Commercial break

Brian: Welcome back to the Breakthrough Addiction Recovery Hour, we are finding that enabling from the family keeps someone in danger of drug or alcohol abuse from getting the help they need. If you are out there and you feel like this sounds familiar, give us a call. We will be asking questions of Dr. Dutton and she will talk with us about the program on Tuesday evenings at our Breakthrough Norcross location called Families in Recovery. Families of addicts face many struggles and we find denial, minimizing and chaotic home life, the alcohol and drugs create emotional barriers and

Dr. Dutton: Hi Brian nice to talk to you,

Brian: Great to have you today, we are hoping that a lot of folks call to inquire about your program. Again, to the audience 770-226-0920 give us a call and ask Dr. Lois your questions. Lois, we are talking about the addiction as a family disease and we see this so often don’t we?

Lois: We do Brian, the alcoholism and drug addiction where there is a family affects everyone and makes them have to come to grips with what is going on in their family.
Nobody escapes it and that needs to be clear that very often we hear folks say that it doesn’t affect them or their children and we know differently. Everyone in the family system is affected usually after it has gone on for some time Family members are very often left high and dry even if the individual comes to get help; they still need the family to be healed along with them. The ones that surround the person using are sitting back and not knowing what to do so we give them the education and sounding board.

Brian: I wonder when I hear about people feeling victimized and this is an interesting category some put themselves in and let’s be honest so many times the denying and minimizing keeps them from enjoying life and so how do we address that issue with the family if they want reconciliation and family intimacy again.

Lois: A part of what we have to do Brian as clinicians there is a lot of hurt and pain and the drinking and drugging individual will stop interacting and stop being a vital part and before we can put the pieces together we need to bridge the gap. We need family members to be educated and let them know what has happened to their loved one, It is a disease, and having said that what happens so often is family members can have their mind opened and it is complicated and they now know that their loved one has an illness. With that illness comes an understanding that this is not a willing act on their part so we give them the tools to use for their recovery, information, it could be genetic. We send them home to a group of people and they have no idea how new they are and the family needs to be in on this.

Brian: This is wonderful and what we are helping the audience to hear Lois is that they are not at fault. So many times I hear this and they all think that they have failed as a parent or spouse and the guilt is not healthy as if they could have changed the course of the events. 770-226-0920 again 770-226-0920 we would love to hear from you your opinions and thoughts. My special guest Dr. Dutton and I will be right back after the commercial break.

Commercial break

Brian: Welcome back to the Breakthrough Addiction Recovery Hour, my special guest is Dr. Lois Dutton who leads our Families in Recovery at our Norcross location.

We are talking about how families are in recovery and impacted just as much as the loved one.

Secrecy and lying on the part of the user can cause a tremendous rift in the family and

Lois: Addiction is almost always perpetuated by secrecy and manipulation and lying and you have to build a whole system to perpetuate the addiction to make it through the day and what so often happens is that the family gets caught up in that and they secrecy spills off onto them to protect the family. They don’t want anyone to see the ugly side of what is happening. Kids stop participating with the family and spend time away from home because they don’t want to be there when the parent shows up. The family gets caught in the secrecy and the whole perpetuating myth.

Brian: we see this and so many times they don’t think the children will be impacted and we do know that we have what we call adult children of alcoholics and these are the individuals have been raised in an alcoholic family environment and carry their own scars

Lois: for a lifetime Brian. This constellation of people who are together by blood is a system that has an unbelievable ability to protect itself and hold it together and if one in the system begins to behave in a way that adversely effects everyone else, the others must find some way to protect themselves and to cope and to adjust to what is happening. We see this in the small children who know instinctively what they are supposed to do if an argument begins.

Brian: A lot of guilt and shame feeling isolated and alienated and they don’t feel comfortable having company and not knowing what to expect and I know that one of the phases there is an avoidance of the problem.

Lois: you have to have a way to protect yourself not just physically many are not abused but emotionally they do not continue to allow themselves to be bombarded with negativity and they will internalize and carry with them and thus we have an entire generation calling them adult children is really a misnomer and they are grown individuals who are still carrying the bad childhood. Very often our clients grew up in that atmosphere as well

Brian: Many of them coming into treatment were the victims of individuals who had a mom or a dad or living with someone who has victimized them by their drug or alcohol dependence.

Lois: Somewhere along the line they have adapted a system by which to live to survive and then they develop coping skills and mechanisms and they go with you for the rest of your life.

Brian: You are listening today to the Breakthrough Addiction Recovery hour and the number is 770-226-0920 we are coming to the break and Lois we would love to have you stay with us and share the special component that many family members deal with in trying to fix everything. When we return you can address these components

Commercial break

Brian: Welcome back, I am Brian Fujii with my special guest Dr. Lois Dutton, leading our Families in Recovery at Breakthrough Addiction Recovery in Norcross, GA www.breakthroughaddictionrecovery.com we would love your participation today so please give us a call at 770-226-0920 and get in on the conversation. 770-226-0920. You know Lois we were talking at the break about people blaming themselves and so many times because these are unresolved issues they really feel the shame about even seeking the help and the children have grown up and now we are finding out that much of the pain that they were suffering is now being experienced because they have not dealt with the issues and families have a complex web of making choices and solving problems and sometimes they are more problematic.

Lois: The family is the kindergarten and learning how to relate to people and have relationships and how to love people and how to trust people and family learning laboratory and when family life is disrupted then somewhere along the line folks have to learn to adjust and the important thing now is and I repeat this every Tuesday night, I tell the people who come to that group that there are three C’s to family members recovery.

The first is you did not CAUSE this problem

Many have been told that if it wasn’t for the family they would not use or have a problem,

The second is You can not CONTROL

It is not within your power to control the drinking or drugging member of your family. You can not control the addictive process

The third is You can not CURE it

You can’t make this go away; you can not cure the problem.

Brian: We have a call from Jimmy in Marietta, welcome Jimmie

Jimmie: I have been using opiates off and on for the last few years and I have caused a lot of hurt in my family and my question is dealing with the family and after all I have done, basically should you renew old relationships that were in your drugging past, even if you loved them.

Lois: It depends on how important this relationship was to you. Do you want an opportunity to really renew the relationship, perhaps if not if the two of you could get some joint therapy and possibly it could show whether there is anything left to save. If not you should move on and if there is a relationship and something worth salvaging my recommendation would be for the two of you to get some therapy.

Commercial Break

Brian: Welcome back to the Breakthrough Addiction Recovery Hour, I am Brian Fujii and we are coming down to the last segment of our program here with Dr. Lois Dutton as we discuss Addiction as a Family Disease.

Call us at 770-226-0920 or if you would like to visit our website today we have a lot of information about our various meetings and help we can offer to the families of addicted individuals. www.breakthroughaddictionrecovery.com and see what we can do for you.

Well Lois it sure was a pleasure having you here today to discuss these issues

Lois: Any time Brian it was good to be with you too. Remember we have our support group, Families in Recovery on Tuesday nights at 6PM at our Breakthrough location in Norcross Georgia. Come see us.

Brian: There is hope and we can help, please give us an opportunity. Have a great weekend and we will be with you next week when my co-host Jill Mattingly will be back with me.

　

This entry is filed under Radio Show Transcripts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.